Helping kids process the death of Pope Francis

The news is full of information about the Pope’s life and death as well as what the future holds: who will be the next pope and how does that happen? How can we help our children and teens process this news well and see who God is in it all?

Here are some suggestions that you may find helpful.

Take your time

People will respond differently to the news. Some may be profoundly sad; others may be curious or even worried. It will have much more of an impact and feel a much bigger deal for some people than others. Only the oldest teens will be able to remember a time before Pope Francis and for some children or young people this might be their first experience of death.

Don’t feel the pressure to explain everything. It can be really valuable to show our kids that it’s okay to sit with something and explore how we feel. We can share with them that it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling and share that with God and each other.

Embrace conversations and questions

Opening up conversations about the Pope’s death allows you to both chat about it and get a sense of what your child or teen is thinking and feeling.

They may have questions too: it’s a significant historical event which may also be touching them personally. The questions might be practical – what happens at the funeral, or what is a conclave – but they may also have questions about life, death and heaven. Parenting for Faith’s ‘questions tool’ will help you not only answer the question but engage your kid in the wondering too.

Use the Key Tools

Many times in parenting and in life, we hit something that we’ve never done before and we think ‘where’s the instruction manual for this bit’. And there isn’t one! This is where the Parenting for Faith Key Tools are really useful, because they can be applied to any context. Here are some ideas for how you might that might look like:

Creating windows is a simple tool we can use to help our children and young people see how our relationship with God works and supports us in all sorts of situations. You can deliberately create a window, a little glimpse, into how you are feeling about the Pope’s death and what helps you. For example, allowing them to see you cry as you mourn his passing, or hear you chat to God about how you feel.

Framing is simply helping kids understand what’s going on. Some of how you are processing the Pope’s death and connecting with God about it will happen at times or places your kids won’t know about. You can help them understand what’s going on by explaining it to them. For example ‘I’m worried about who will be the next Pope so I’ve been chatting to God and asking him to speak really clearly to the Cardinals’ or ‘I feel strange that I feel so sad even though I didn’t know the Pope personally. I think it’s reminding me of when my Grandma died. I’ve been asking God to feel extra close to me’.

Unwinding – Children will be hearing information from school, church, social media, the news and us. It can be easy for some wrong or confusing ideas to get muddled in there. As you chat to them about this and hear them talking to others in their normal day to day life, listen out to see if there are any misunderstandings that have got mixed in there and then gently correct any wrong ideas.

Chat and catch is a way of praying that essentially is a conversation between us and God. Encourage your kids to chat to God and ask him questions about the Pope’s death and share how they feel. Some kids use words as they chat; others may want to draw or use their body to communicate. Encourage them to be ready to ‘catch’ God’s reply however he communicates back to them.

You might want to suggest some ideas for them to chat to God about, for example:

• Show God how you are feeling about Pope Francis’ death
• Tell God your favourite thing about Pope Francis
• Ask God how he feels about the Pope’s death
• Ask God for something you can pray for the Cardinals, making the big decision about who is the next Pope

Surfing the waves. Come alongside your children and their processing and let them lead what you talk about and explore. It may not be what you expect. Are there issues or emotions that this raises for them? Support them to explore them through chat and catch, chatting together or using some of the resources mentioned below.

Links to resources you may find helpful

If you’d like to explore this further, here are some links you might find helpful:

The grief and bereavement topic of our website.
Comfort in uncertain times is a book by Rachel Turner which helps children draw close to God through Biblical stories of loss, anxiety and transition.

In this together

We learn best in community so we’d love to learn from you and share and process together. Please get in touch and share how this news has affected you and your family. Have you had any surprising or interesting conversations or experiences as you process? Are there any resources that you’ve found helpful?