Families and faith formation

Depending on your tradition you may have times when older children or young people in your church have some sort of faith formation preparation.

This might be believer’s baptism, first holy communion, confirmation or a Youth Alpha course. Whereas parents and carers are always involved with their baby’s infant baptism, dedication or thanksgiving preparation, with older kids we are often in the habit of a leader taking a class or teaching them separately. But there’s good reasons to involve their parents and carers too.

Whether or not the parents or carers are church goers or even Christians, they are the child or young person’s parent or carer and it’s important we honour that. They are also the people who have the most influence over and time with their child, and are best placed to disciple and/or support their child’s ongoing journey of faith. Parents and carers who are new to faith may have questions about the process or even concerns, and this gives us an opportunity to allay fears and answer questions.

Here are three steps you can take to involve parents and carers well.

1. Invite them into the process

You could choose to do the whole course or preparation with parents and carers present, or just invite them in for part of it. With parents and carers who are new to faith or church, explain that we want them to be part of the process because they are the child’s parent or carer. We want them to understand what is going on, and be in a position where they can support their child’s onward journey of faith. Tell them that they are the best people to help their child do this because they know them the best and are with them in the rest of life. Acknowledge that this might be a new idea for them but say we’re here to help if you need us.

2. Equip them to disciple and support their child in the process and event

When you have parents and carers present with their child or young person, this enables you to create opportunities for the parents and carers and their kids to share experiences and engage with each other. You can help parents and carers understand the process their child is undergoing and input into that with their own stories and experiences of God and faith. With parents and carers new to faith, you can affirm their role and be available to answer any questions they might have.

• Ideas for helping families engage with each other:

• • Parents and carers share their faith journeys with their child
  • Families talking about times they’ve encountered God
  • Sharing questions they have about God and this process- you could create a list of questions to help this process similar to the ones here.
  • Parents and carers writing a blessing for their child
  • Families choosing a scripture passage for their child
  • Parents and carers sharing similar experiences – their first communion and what happens when they take communion today; when they got baptised or confirmed.

• Depending on how you do things, there will be opportunities to talk about and model the five key tools during the sessions. Because these sessions are clearly about their child’s faith, it’s a brilliant opportunity to explain the way the five key tools enable parents and carers to disciple their kids and give them time to have a go themselves.
• Be clear that you recognise that parents and carers may be new to this or have questions and have people available to answer any questions they might have or chat.
• If you can, at the service itself, invite the parents and carers to be part of the ceremony: for example, helping to baptise their child, making the sign of the cross on their child’s head, coming forward as a family for communion, speaking the blessing over their child. 

3. Give them some next steps

This ceremony is just the start of the next stage of their child’s journey of faith, so we can resource their parents and carers to support this ongoing journey. What this looks like will depend on the family and what is going on at your church. Here are some ideas to get you started working out what you might do:

• Give them a copy of one of our books, which will help them understand their role and ways to support their child’s journey of faith. Parenting Children for a Life of Faith (Omnibus edition) is suitable for all ages, and for parents and carers of older children we have Parenting Teens for a Life of Faith.
• Invite them to a Parenting for Faith course – again, we have courses for different ages.
• Invite their child to join a kids club or youth group.
• If they don’t already attend church, think about services, groups or events you might want to invite them too.
• Look for opportunities to keep in touch going forward – ask for permission to keep in touch and regularly contact them with information they might find helpful.
• Invite parents and carers to an Alpha course or equivalent.

You might also be interested in this webinar on preparing children and young people for spiritually significant moments https://www.parentingforfaith.brf.org.uk/post/preparing-for-spiritually-significant-moments-facebook-live/