Talking to our kids about the devil
At some point, our kids will ask about the devil and it can feel difficult to know how to respond. Becky shares what she's learned over the years.
When I was little, Halloween wasn’t a ‘thing’. We got excited about bonfire night. Other than being vaguely aware that Americans trick or treated every 31st October, I had no contact with Halloween at all.
Fast forward 25 years, and as I walk my three year old daughter around town, I suddenly see Halloween everywhere. The supermarket has spooky ghosts hanging from the ceiling. Blood-splattered costumes nestle next to fairy outfits in the local discount store. The town council are advertising a free family Halloween event in the local park. Even the sweets we normally buy have mysteriously evolved into pumpkins and witches’ hats. And this sends me into a spin. I don’t know how to walk her through this stuff.
The thing was, you see, that for me Halloween seemed to be a poorly disguised playground for the devil. I was scared by the responsibility of helping my daughter understand who the devil was and help her deal with it healthily. It turned out that in my bumbling way I managed to do that, but here’s what I wished I’d have thought through then!
1) If kids know about God, they need to know about the devil
Just as you can’t tell a great story without including the villain who opposes the hero – think Simba and Scar, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, Aslan and the White Witch – you can’t tell the story of God without including the story of the devil. The whole story of Christianity – how God’s wonderful world was damaged by sin, but God’s love and his sacrifice on the cross changes all that – only makes sense if you know about the devil who he is, what he does and how God deals with him. Here are some links which you might find helpful in understanding who the devil is and his part in the big story of God and us:
- Christian Parenting on what to teach kids about Satan
- The Bible Project unpacking what the Bible tells us about Satan and demons
- Active Christianity on what the Bible says about Satan
2) If not you, then who?
Like many things in life, if you don’t explain who the devil is, then your kids will find out from somewhere – a pop song, digital media, a film, chatter in the playground, something on the news. Even if they read their Bible and go to church regularly, they may not get a full picture of who he is and what he does – they need you to help them understand all that the Bible tells us is true of the devil and his works.
3) He is a defeated enemy
It’s easy to think of God and the devil as equal but opposite opponents, pitched against each other for all time. But the Bible explains that they are in no way even close to being equal. The truth is that God is the all-powerful everlasting creator; the devil is the defeated creature who will, one day, be destroyed for ever.
Our children need to know that although the devil can scare us, we are protected by the name of Jesus through the cross. Just as Jesus was able to stand up to the devil so can we because Jesus has passed on to Christians his power and authority. God doesn’t leave us unprotected in the face of the devil: we have spiritual armour to help us stand strong and resist him: you might find this article on explaining the armour to kids useful. This article suggests truths about God which will help children and young people understand why they don’t need to fear the devil.
You can help them understand the truth that the bible tells us. This doesn’t mean you have to have a degree in theology. Share what you know, explore what the bible says with them and don’t be afraid to ask others for help. You might have stories about times you’ve confronted evil or needed to use the armour of God: share these with your kids. These little glimpses into your experience will give them confidence and help them understand what they can do.
4) It’s not a massive deal
C S Lewis, a brilliant communicator of God, said this in the preface to his masterpiece, ‘The Screwtape Letters’: ‘There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is the disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them’. It’s important for your child to know what the Bible teaches about the devil – it is part of the story the Bible tells, but not the most important part.
5) Be led by your kids
You might, like I did, realise you need to talk to your kid about the devil. Maybe they have come across him in a movie. Maybe they’ve asked a question. Maybe you just sense it’s time. And then you might find yourself asking how?
It’s a bit like the ‘where did I come from?’ question. There are a whole bundle of answers to the ‘how’. But you are the best judge of what your kid needs to know at that moment, and what can wait. What you say will depend on their personality, their age and your own views. It will also depend on how they’re feeling. Is this just a theoretical question for them or have they seen or heard something that’s scared them? And try to avoid a quick answer – ask them what they think, or if they have a particular question. Share your views and experiences as together you figure it out.
There’s a helpful article here that explores how to tell the difficult bits of the Bible well, and if you find your kids ask a question you don’t know the answer to – or if you want to encourage them to start exploring it themselves – the questions tool from Parenting for Faith will give you easy steps to get you started.
You may also be interested in:
In one of our Bedtime Drinks with Rachel webinars for parents and carers, Rachel Turner talked about how to help our kids deal with the world’s view of the supernatural. As usual, she covered the topics for parents and carers of 0s to 5s, primary age and preteens and teens, and you can view each of the videos here.
We also have some helpful advice for parents and carers wanting to decide what to do about Halloween.