Decide with God

A tool to help families decide whether to watch, listen to or play something.

Kids and teenagers often want to watch a programme, download an app or play a video game. It can be hard for parents and carers to know when to let them and when to create a boundary.

In S15 E3, Anna and Jess explore how to use this as an opportunity to help our kids and teenagers learn to make decisions with God, not just decide about that specific game, app or programme. They discuss how to use the surfing the waves and framing tools to ask good questions; chat and catch to connect with God about it and creating windows to share their experience.

Here is a four step tool that you can use to decide with God.

Download ‘How to decide whether to watch, listen to or play something’ postcard

1. Be curious

Lead with curiosity, not judgement. Ask questions to understand what it is and what sparked the interest. Pay attention to what might be happening beneath the surface.

• Start by asking open questions: What is it? Where did you hear about it? What interests you?
• Listen to understand your child or teen’s perspective rather than reacting quickly with yes or no.
• Explore what might be underneath the request (e.g. curiosity, peer pressure, wanting to fit in).
• Use the moment to learn more about your child or teenager and what’s important to them.

2. Do some research

Find out what is in it and how watching, playing or listening to it might affect you. You might need to do some online research or ask people you trust.

• Look into the content: themes, messages, and potentially challenging elements.
• Don’t rely on one opinion – gather a balanced understanding.
• Consider how it might affect your child or teenager specifically (you know them best).
• Talk together about how media can impact thoughts, emotions, and imagination.
• Ask trusted people (friends, parents, or community members) for insight if helpful.

3. Ask God what He thinks

Use chat and catch to connect with God about it. That might be just the adult, just the child/teenager or both. Share what you think He’s saying.

• Take time to pray and invite God into the decision.
• Share honestly with God: why it’s appealing or why you’re unsure.
• See what you catch back (thoughts, feelings, Bible verses, pictures etc).
• This can be done together or separately, depending on age and confidence.
• Compare what you sense with wisdom from the Bible and trusted people.

4. Reflect and decide

Is it a yes, no, not yet or yes with boundaries? Whatever you decide, use the opportunity to share how you make decisions with God.

• Bring together what you’ve learned, researched, and sensed from God.
• Decide on an outcome: yes, no, not yet, yes with boundaries (e.g. watch together, limited time)
• Remember decisions can be revisited or adjusted if needed.
• Talk through the decision-making process so your child or teenager learns how to do it themselves.
• Use it as a teaching moment about making choices with God in everyday life.

This process isn’t about getting every decision “right,” but about helping our kids and teens learn how to make wise, God-connected choices over time. Also feel free to pick and choose bits of it. You won’t need all these steps for every decision, they are options of tools to use if you find them helpful.

You might also be interested in our resources on gaming and screentime.