Advent: Growing gratitude in our kids

10 November 2020

What if instead of telling our kids to be grateful, we broadened their perspective? Becky shares 24 ideas to spark gratitude this Advent.

Well, the Christmas season is here!

I remember as a kid the excitement of Advent, watching the pile of presents under the tree grow bigger and bigger. And then the frenzy of ripped wrapping paper on Christmas morning, followed by the huge, unwelcome task of writing those thank-you notes. Somehow much less attractive than receiving the presents!

We want our kids to be grateful. Not only because God asks us to, but we know that truly grateful people are happier and more content. So we teach them to say, ‘Thank you.’ But what if that isn’t the key to raising grateful kids?

At school, I had a geography teacher called Miss Swann. I didn’t actually like geography and gave it up as soon as I could, but one thing Miss Swann said changed my life forever. She had volunteered as a teacher in Africa, and used to share stories about her time there. One day, as I was day-dreaming at my desk, she described how the children she’d taught in Africa had only one cup of water a day to wash themselves in. Bam! For some reason, that picture changed my attitude to water forever. To this day, whenever I turn on a tap, I say a silent prayer thanking God for our never-ending supply of clean and life-giving water.

I wonder if the key to raising grateful kids isn’t about their behaviour, but their perspective? Not telling them to say, ‘Thank you’, but widening their vision so that gratitude becomes part of who they are?

This Advent, we thought about spending a bit of time exploring what might spark gratitude in our kids (and ourselves). So here are a few ideas for starting conversations about gratitude during Advent. Use them in whatever way works best for your family. You might do one a day in order, or pick out one when it suits you. Or cut them up and pop them in your kid’s advent calendar, or chat about one at meal times. Whatever works for you. It’s not about making everyone say ‘Thank you’, but about changing our perspective so that gratitude naturally overflows.

And if it helps, we’ve popped them onto a pdf, which you can download and use as you want.

Some of our ideas will work for your family, some won’t. Use this as a springboard to spark your own ideas. Wouldn’t it be great if together we could discover how to really make this Advent a season of gratitude and joy. Share your experiences and ideas using #growinggratitude.

advent gratitude

Download PDF

24 days of gratitude

  1. Ask everyone to share one thing they are particularly grateful that God gave them this year.
  2. Who surrounds your family with love? Draw a heart in the middle of a piece of paper and write or draw your family in it. Around that heart, draw a series of hearts, so your family is enclosed in hearts. In each one write the name of people who surround your family with love.
  3. Ask someone else in your family, ‘What’s the best thing someone’s done for you this week?’ Share your answer too.
  4. Watch a nature documentary or go for a walk, taking time to stop and examine nature close up. Chat to God about which parts of his creation you find funniest, most beautiful and most amazing.
  5. Think about the different people in your life who’ve helped you to meet God and know him better. Chat to God about them and see if you can catch from him any encouragements to share with them.
  6. Share stories of what God has done for you, big or little, over this last year.
  7. As you are enjoying something you love to eat, talk about whose work made it possible for you to enjoy it – not just the person who cooked it, but the person who worked to grow it in the first place, the person who harvested it, the person who packed it up, the person who drove it to the factory… you get the picture!
  8. Get creative! Spend some time using whatever your child is into at the moment whether that’s Lego, Minecraft, playdough, video animation, baking or painting. Build, draw, paint, mould or bake something you are grateful for and share it with God and each other.
  9. Share a time where you had to trust God. What did he do? What did you do?
  10. Run through your day in your mind and share about anybody who you saw today who made your life easier.
  11. Give everyone three stickers or Post-it notes and ask them to imagine they are only allowed to keep three things from the whole house.  Ask each person to stick them on the things (not people or pets!) that they would choose. At the end of the day, share with each other what you chose and why.
  12. Ask God what makes his heart happy and see what you catch back.
  13. Talk about who are you specially grateful for this Christmas, and why.
  14. Have a scroll through some old photos on your phone or computer. If you have family photo albums or photobooks, dig those out too. Enjoy reminiscing and remembering special people and memories.
  15. Ask other people in your life (grandparents, godparents, friends from church) what they are grateful to God for and how they thank him.
  16. Try going one hour (or however long you can manage) without electricity and see what you miss most.
  17. Ask God to remind you things he’s given you. Write down whatever you catch in a wordcloud (using pens and paper or digitally) or draw what God shows you. Put it somewhere you’ll see it often.
  18. Talk about the different names of God – for example, shepherd, rock, healer, almighty, provider. Which is your favourite? Why? If you want, you could decorate a decoration for the Christmas tree to remind you of this. Save any decorations with names of God that you don’t use and put them in your Christmas decoration box for next year – a different name might be significant to you then.
  19. Talk about your favourite hobbies or clubs. Who has made it possible for you to do them?
  20. Count the number of pairs of shoes in your house. Consider going on a short walk barefoot or in the wrong shoes (like flip flops on a rainy day) to experience firsthand what a difference it makes to have the right footwear.
  21. Pause and go over the highs and lows of your day with God. Ask him to show you what he was doing.
  22. Try an experiment taking away one of your senses for one meal. Wear a blindfold, ear plugs or oven gloves. Tell God your favourite sense and why. Ask Him any questions you have about them.
  23. Make a family gratitude jar to use next year. Have paper and pens ready so that when somebody does something you are particularly grateful, you and write down what they did and why it sparked gratitude in you. Once the jar is full, share a special meal and read what people wrote.
  24. Read the Christmas story together. Wonder together: ‘What would the world be like if God hadn’t come to earth?’

Some of these ideas use skills from the Key Tools of Parenting for Faith. If you haven’t discovered them yet, why not check out our Parenting for Faith course, which shares them in more detail?

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Advent calendar © licensed under CC0 / cropped and scaled